Perfect
by ellen2321
Summary: Hermione is feeling pressured to be perfect. She doesn't think she could possibly handle it. Can anyone help her? RWHG Chapters 2 and 3 up!
1. Pressure

A/N: This is my first non-songfic story. Please review. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't worry, I am not taking credit for Harry Potter, it's characters or locations, only those I created specifically for this story.

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Perfect**

Chapter One: Pressure

Take a deep breath Hermione told herself. She glanced at the common room clock. It read four-thirty; it couldn't possibly be four-thirty! Hermione yawned, wishing desperately that she could go to bed, but she still had so much studying to do. Hermione turned her tired eyes back to the tiny print of _The Complete Guide to the Justice Systems of Magical Minorities Vol. III_ but she couldn't read it. The words blurred before her eyes. I can't stop now she said. Gradually Hermione coaxed herself into a little break. She rose slowly, in an attempt to move to one of the armchairs by the long-dead fire. The pressure she was feeling suddenly bubbled to the surface and she collapsed on the floor sobbing. Why did there have to be so much pressure? Everyone wanted something from her, her parents, her friends, her teachers, her boyfriend, too much. Between being the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect student and the perfect girlfriend couldn't anyone realize that she _wasn't_ perfect? Hermione had been up every night for a week. Each morning so tired she barely made it to breakfast, so nervous that she couldn't eat. She recognized her hunger and tried to recall the last time she ate...she couldn't. I can't do it Hermione thought; I can't go on like this. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, a tiny voice whispered _you don't have to, just give up_. Maybe she thought, maybe I can.

The next morning Ron found her sprawled across the common room floor. Gently he woke her. "Hermione, are you okay? What happened?" Hermione didn't answer. In a daze she shook her head. "Please Hermione." Ron urged her as he helped her up. She looked as though she were in a trance. She stared into Ron's face but didn't see him. She looked as if her head were completely empty. However, inside Hermione's head a war was raging and she was on the loosing end. Slowly and surely, the small voice took control...and she was powerless to stop it. She turned to the dormitory stairs Ron touched her shoulder but she brushed away his hand. Hermione climbed the stairs and into bed where she lay, unmoving.

Hermione was absent in every class that morning. Around lunch Ron got worried, "I'm going to look for her. She missed all of her morning classes! Something's wrong." Ron stood up defiantly and walked out of the Great Hall. Harry and Ginny followed. They marched to Gryffindor Tower and found Hermione lying in her bed. She looked pale and thin, she didn't move when they entered.

"Hermione, Hermione, are you okay?" Ginny said approaching her bed. She knelt down and stroked Hermione's hair. Hermione didn't even blink. Ron stepped beside Ginny touching Hermione's cheek.

"You okay 'Mione? What's wrong? Should we call Madame Pomfrey?" Turning to Harry, he asked, "When was the last time she ate?" Harry shook his head.

"I don't remember." Suddenly Ron realized that something was dreadfully wrong.

"I'm going to get Madame Pomfrey!" He ran out of the room and did not stop running until he reached the hospital wing. "Madame Pomfrey come quick, something is very wrong with Hermione!"

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A/N: Thanks for finishing chapter one. I really don't know where I'm taking this so if you have any ideas I'd like to hear them. Please review! I like constructive criticism but hate reviews will be ignored. Thanks for reading everyone!


	2. Insecurity

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing but the plot of this story.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please continue to do so! I am nearly finished with chapter so the wait should be minimal. Thank you!

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Perfect

Chapter Two: Insecurity

Madame Pomfrey turned away from Hermione's bed to face her friends. "Hermione," she began, "has had some kind of nervous breakdown. Lately, have you noticed any strange behavior in her?" All of them were looking at the floor.

"Yes," Ginny said quietly, "she never comes to bed. Sometimes she comes in around one or two but sometimes I find her asleep at a table in the common room." Ron looked up,

"Yeah, she won't eat at meals, I guess I never noticed." He returned her eyes to the floor. It was Harry's turn.

"Once I found her crying in the halls because, well, something about not pleasing her parents." Madame Pomfrey took a deep breath and straightened herself.

"I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do for her here, she must be taken to St. Mungo's." Ron opened his mouth to protest but the nurse held up a hand. "I will speak to Professor Dumbledore about giving you time to visit her." Madame Pomfrey gave them a sympathetic smile and left to care for other patients. The three moved closer to Hermione's bed.

"I can't believe we didn't notice," Ginny said sniffling. "Why do you think it happened?" she looked expectantly into her big brother's face.

"I don't know, she overworked herself guess. She was trying too hard to please everyone." Ron answered taking Hermione's hand in his. Ginny suddenly didn't care if she sounded like a little kid again, she was to scared for her friend,

"Ron," she asked, "will she be okay?" Ron wrapped Ginny in a hug.

"Of course," he said, "she'll be fine."

--(break)--

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_I'm in St. Mungo's_ Hermione realized in a rather detached way. She strained to see though her own eyes and tried in vain to turn her head, even blink. But Hermione no longer controlled those functions. She didn't even control most of her own thoughts. That once-little voice had grown bigger and stronger until it filled all the crevasses of her head. Insecurity, it called itself. It had squeezed Hermione until it could shove her into the background, until _she_ was the little voice. The insecurity took no interest in Hermione's body. It only took pride in repeating to her that she should give up because she couldn't please anyone, not her parents, not her teachers, not her friends, not her boyfriend. Whenever Hermione tried to escape, the insecurity laughed. She wasn't going anywhere. Slowly Hermione began believing all that the insecurity told her. She fought less and forgot who she was, forgot her strength.

Hermione saw Harry, Ron and Ginny enter weary-eyed. They looked so far away; it was like looking through a telescope backwards. Suddenly Hermione remembered who used to be. She cried out. _Help me!_ She screamed and pounded the inside of her mind. But the insecurity just cackled madly. She couldn't escape, never.

--(break)--

Gradually, the days passed. Hermione did not see her friends anymore. The healers though, came in three times a day to force food into her that she didn't even taste. The healers spoke cheerfully to her. Hermione longed to reply, to thank the witches for their words, but she could not.

The insecurity spoke less because Hermione herself repeated the words it said.

"Give up, you don't please anyone..."

_I must give up, I don't please anyone..._

"No one likes you and your parents are ashamed..."

_No one likes me and my parents are ashamed of me..._

"Your friends think you are arrogant and your teachers find you stupid..."

_My friends think I am arrogant and my teachers think I'm stupid..._

"Your boyfriend hates you, give up."

_My boyfriend hates me, I must give up._

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A/N: Thank you for reading! I know it's short but hey, get over it! Please review, you don't know how much that helps an author! I hopw you all like this story. I know it's a little dramatic but this all came to me when I had a lot of homework and didn't think I'd make it through the night. Thanks for reading! Please review! 


	3. Fairy Tale

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the only one that owns Harry Potter. I am not trying to steal her ideas, only worship her with fanfic!

A/N: thanks for making it to chapter three. This will be the end unless someone requests a fourth chapter or prequel. Oh, I warn you, if you are the sappy type, get tissues...now! Please review!

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**Perfect**

Chapter Three: Fairy Tale

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggghhh!" Ron exploded in frustration. He was unsuccessfully squeezing the library of any information he could use to help Hermione who was now weak and defenseless against herself.

"Ron," soothed Ginny, "there is no magic cure. The healers are doing everything they can." Ron stood with defying anger.

"No. The healers have given up. They don't care anymore! Can't you see? They moved her to a long-term care unit. They have no hope! They are just keeping her alive!" Ginny pleaded with her brother.

"No Ron! There isn't anything for them to do! They have tried everything! They have no more options!" Ron ignored her.

"They may have given up but I haven't! I will find a way to cure her! I won't see her waste away like...like..." Ron choked back tears of anger.

"Like what Ron?" Ginny too was crying now. "Like someone with a tragic mental problem? Ron, Hermione has had a terrible thing happen to her. The healers have done everything in all their magical power. There is nothing left to do with magic. This has nothing to do with..." However, Ron never heard what it had nothing to do with because he stormed out on his sister.

"No," said Dumbledore sternly. Ron threw his hands up in protest.

"But I _have_ to see her to see her! You must understand headmaster!"

"Ron, we all care deeply about what happens to Miss Granger but I cannot allow you anymore time off of school! Nor can I afford to send a chaperone with you! I am sorry but I insist that you remain here!" Ron turned away in unsatisfied defeat, though he muttered under his breath as he left the circular office,

"Well, I'll find a way to see her and you can't stop me."

That night Harry woke with a start to a noise. Curious as to what roused him in the middle of the night he looked around. Again, he heard the sound that woke him. It was the swish of light fabric. Harry peered over the foot of his four-poster. His father's invisibility cloak was missing from his trunk. "Ron," Harry whispered loudly. The swishing stopped. Harry tried again. "Ron!" Suddenly a head of red hair appeared floating in the center of the room. The head lingered only long enough to say,

"Harry, I'm going to see Hermione. You can choose to cover for me or not, but either way, no one is stopping me from being with her." Harry made no reaction and the floating head disappeared. Harry listened to Ron descend the stairs before going back to bed.

"Hermione," Ron whispered as he removed the invisibility cloak, "oh Hermione, Dumbledore wouldn't let me come but I just had to see you. I don't know how to help you and I'm so sorry."

He picked up her lifeless hand it was cold and pale. Placing it against his cheek, he sat down beside her frail figure that almost disappeared against the starched sheets. A few minutes later, he sat up remembering his purpose. Ron pulled a crumpled sheet of parchment from his pocket. Holding his wand toward Hermione, he recited spell after spell, each with more will then the last. Ron hung his head in defeat. He wiped away a single tear as he returned to the bed stroking Hermione's hair and holding her hand. His eyelids were heavy and dark circles had formed under them from his nights at the library. Ron thought about all the pressure they had put on her without realizing it.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, "we had no idea. You don't need to change to please anybody. Your grades are wonderful; you are the smartest person in the school. Your parents are so proud that they have a witch in the family. And Harry, Ginny and I, we all think you are amazing. I just don't know how to help you; I have tried every spell, everything I can think of. I read everything in the library from the counter-curse to the most deadly charms to the fairytales. If only it was a fairy tale. If only the way to bring you back to me was a kiss. I love you Hermione." Slowly Ron leaned over and kissed Hermione. He straightened and turned away to keep from crying.

_A kiss_ it jolted Hermione from herself. She, with sudden rage, rebelled against this voice in her. She relentlessly threw herself against it. Though the battle took less then a minute, inside her head it rages for hours. With renewed strength, she screamed and bashed the insecurity. It began to realize its inevitable defeat. It fought back but Ron had brought her unrealized power. Finally, she broke free of the voice, the insecurity. She continued fighting until it was gone, crushed under Hermione's absolute rule of herself. Though within herself was a new sense of control and power, Hermione used all of her physical strength to open her eyes and say...

"Ron?" Hermione said weakly. Ron spun and stared in disbelief at Hermione who looked puzzled through half-open eyes. His look of shock melted into a grin as he moved to hug her. Wiping away tears of joy he said,

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"Me too, it...it controlled me but I heard every word you said to me...I love you too."

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review! Thank you to all who have reviewed in the past! Rock on Harry and keep writing! 


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